When you start dating someone, slowly but surely you’re going to find out exactly what it costs to be chosen by them. If you do not pay attention, you will end up staying in that relationship not because it’s good for you, but because you’ve invested too much to give up now and you want a reward for your sacrifices.

So what is the greatest sacrifice someone can make that will keep them in a relationship even when it’s unhealthy, toxic, and no longer serving them?

It’s abandoning yourself.

The reason why you cannot afford to abandon yourself is because it keeps you in places that you were never meant to be. The thought of betraying yourself—the person that you’ve been with your entire life—for somebody else, and still that not being good enough for them to choose you, is so difficult for you to stomach that you would rather hold on in hopes that eventually there will be a reward that will make it all worthwhile.

The reason why it never works is because when you lower your standards, boundaries, and values to keep somebody in your life, it doesn’t attract people that are impressed by you. It will attract people that are impressed by your flexibility, and your relationship becomes this game of emotional limbo of „how low can you go?“ The reason why there’s never a reward and the finish line always moves is because they define love by your willingness to suffer for them, and so there’s always more that you can endure.

Now, how do I know that you’re in a relationship that you can actually afford?

A relationship that is healthy is one where you can love them and respect yourself at the same time.

A healthy relationship will make you more of who you are.

Love, Phillip